Reality: You can't be a loser if you're a wiener

Darla the daschund is fierce, brave, watchful, clean. She is also a clown, clever, mushy, loving. We should all aspire to be more like her. Why? She is positively certain of her purpose in life. Her self-esteem is such that she will never need counseling. She knows she must give a warning bark to any being that is in her line of vision, for this is HER earth for as far as her eyes can see. She endows her affection to certain people, after they have earned her trust. Until she loves you, she hates you. She thinks nothing of challenging a dog much larger than herself, she does not know she would lose that fight, she just knows she will fight. She knows not to bark at birdies, for birdies are my friends. This takes restraint on her part, but because she loves me, she is silent. Darla goes full steam at every aspect of her "job", never asking for a raise, fully understanding her job description. She knows when she deserves a treat and is content between treats. She allows herself to sleep in because she knows how demanding her job is when she clocks in. She knows when to shush up if I look really serious. She doesn't lick herself "down there", because she makes sure no bits of poo poo are remaining after a session. She is unhappy if I dress her up, she is a wild animal in her brain, a wild animal with comforts I afford her. Imagine your outlook if you had her outlook. Seizing each day with full enthusiasm, knowing exactly what you must achieve, knowing exactly your strengths and talents, and using them to the maximum. She is a mentor of sorts. And, in the race of life, wiener takes all!